New Behaviors Create New Behaviors
New behaviors create new behaviors through a chain reaction, cause and effect.
Are you looking for your new habits?
When you take new actions to create new positive habits, are you looking for them and applauding yourself?
Each time you catch your new behavior you train yourself into the habit better as well as into self-love when you applaud yourself in some way. Give yourself a high-five in the mirror, a pat on the back, a big smile; in any way that suits you just be sure to mark the moment.
When you become aware of these behaviors you will learn to automatically seek out the behavior, causing you to do two things. You will 1, create the behavior; 2, become MORE self-aware.
Self-awareness is an empowering tool, but it must be used wisely. When we become more self-aware we also see more of our ‘flaws’ or ‘bad habits’ and a lot of times our automatic reaction is to degrade ourselves and punish ourselves and then those around us.
So what can we do when we’re trying to improve our self-awareness but it’s backfiring because we’re beating ourselves up like you’re trapped in a MFA fight with your worst enemy- yourself?
Breathe, count to three as you allow yourself to become aware that sure, you’ve done something entirely human that doesn’t meet your own standard, but also become aware now of your limiting self-talk. Slow down.
Ask yourself, is this going to matter in a decade? What about in the next five years? Three? One? A month from now? Tomorrow? An hour? Depending on the answer you can easily and quickly evaluate the severity and you can probably figure that it really wasn’t a big deal. Even if it is a big deal, it’s necessary to fall down. If we never fall down, how can we learn to get back up?
Now that we’ve established that not only is this necessary but recoverable, there’s no reason to berate yourself a second further. Reassure yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s necessary for everyone to grow and to learn. Simplify this process for yourself. Try a simple question to deescalate yourself when you’re spiraling into negativity. “How would I best like to react to this?”
You can allow that to lead you to other simple questions if you need to identify a solution. “What do I have to learn from this?”
“What’s the best end result of this situation?” Sometimes we need to work backward to identify the best path forward. So what’s the best end goal/result of your situation? Now once we can identify that, we can work backward and find the paths available to our results.
“What’s the simplest path to my goal?” Usually, the best way is the simplest way. If we accept this and look for the simplest way to our ideal end goal we are holding in mind the importance of our end result which maintains an alignment of staying true to the best path forward organically. When we focus on looking for the “best” path forward rather than the simplest, we begin to overanalyze and can get overwhelmed quickly with trying to analyze what’s “best” to a standard which we may have no ruler for.
The key is to find the right questions for your situation. This is the starting point of self-recovery.
Until next, unique souls.