Until next, unique souls.
Until next, unique souls.
Heal Your Traumas Before
How do heal your trauma before it’s a problem?
Here lately there is a new trending post going around that says “You should heal your traumas before you have children.” They all vary in ways of delivering this message, but the bottom line is your value as a parent is greatly diminished or even that you being their parent in this unhealed state is even detrimental to the child. This is the most toxic statement I have ever read, and I have read many. But it affects everyone, even those without children in so many negative ways. We all had parents, right?
Now in all logic, I know no mother is going to read this and say, “oh wait, I’m damaged and have trauma. Better not hurt the babies anymore!” and just walk out. That doesn’t make the message any less toxic to our self-worth and healing.
So let’s have some real talk about trauma.
First of all, I don’t actually know anyone who is completely free of trauma. Everyone I have ever met, if they wanted to admit it or not, had some wound inside of them that shaped their every day. Everyone I know suffers from some symptom of trauma if not several; a sleep condition, anxiety, depression, and of course there are many others. This often results in health conditions over time; memory loss, stomach problems like ulcers or IBS, and even cancer have been rampant in those suffering with self-worth issues as this is the house of our Sacral Chakra, right in our stomach. The Sacral Chakra is where we carry our self-worth.
So let’s talk about trauma and the best time to heal it. Because what happens if you can’t heal the trauma before you have kids? Maybe you weren’t ready or maybe the trauma hadn’t occurred yet. Much of my own trauma was experienced as an adult after I had my children. It’s certainly not their fault, but I can’t forfeit being their mother because I faced struggles. If every mother did that we’d all be orphans.
I can only hope that in my healing my children will see what’s possible. They will see that everyone can break, no one is safe, but that equally everyone can heal. That you can take responsibility for your weaknesses as much as you can your joys, and in doing so there is power and transformation.
This is the message I hope to share.
So when is the right time to heal?
Have you ever experienced a time when you felt crazed by your pain? Angered and tormented, frustrated by yourself, your reaction, your emotions?
Have you heard the phrase, “You always hurt the one you love?” Have you ever yelled at someone you loved? What about physical reactions? Have you ever thrown anything or struck at someone out of anger or frustration?
When these instances happen it is our wounds calling out to us for help. Screaming is more accurate.
These are messages from your subconscious telling you that your wounds are ready to heal and they are so ready that they are going to become more and more aggressive against you until you listen.
The best time to heal is when you’re able to recognize the need to heal. But if we don’t know how then there’s no ability to even if it is the best time. So when do we heal? Whenever we can! However we can! Whatever it takes.
Since childhood, we’re taught to ignore and brush off pain and to keep moving. We’re filled with programming and really have to combat this on a daily basis, some of us from the time of conception. If your mother struggled with her health, physical or mental then you were programmed with these same traits since conception. But no one teaches us how to combat it usually. If we’re blessed, we are born into love though and have a loving supportive family despite its problems despite its challenges, there is love in the home. So yes, of course as mothers we would love to be fully healed before carrying our children so as not to perpetuate this cycle of such negative early on programming. We’re burdened with enough shame and guilt as it is, aren’t we?
I spent most of my children’s lives in a state of guilt and shame for my physical and mental struggles both. In an ideal world, I would love to shield them from this. However, looking around, this is nothing like my ideal world or theirs!
This is actually called shame-shielding. Who labeled it that? I did. Just now.
You’ll see this in parents who don’t want their children to watch any progressive movies or books that express sensitive topics.
Parents around the world are shielding their children from their flaws, painting on fake smiles while they suffer trauma in silence until it eats them from the inside out. Like it did me, it landed me in the hospital for physical symptoms not mental symptoms, for years and 7 surgeries in between literally hundreds of hospital stays. Some parents are shame-shielding their children from violence and other kinds of abuse. Some parents are shame-shielding from their mental wounds and challenges, hiding their depression, not claiming their challenges like being bipolar.
It is these denials that deepen our wounds, cause them to lash out further, and wound our loved ones. It is the repression of our emotions, shoving them into the box and ignoring them away that is the act of saving them for later!
Think of your emotions like leftovers from a not so great Mexican restaurant that you don’t want to throw out because that’s wasteful, but don’t want to eat because it’s gross, so you leave it there to rot. These are your emotions, bad leftovers.
So the ideal time to deal with emotions is right in the moment. Don’t take home the leftovers, don’t store the emotions away in a box for later. Eat your meal, enjoy it, connect, feel, experience, and let it go.
When we find our internal refrigerators full of bad leftovers what do we do? We can let them rot away, and keep stacking new leftovers on top until the fridge stinks so bad we have no choice but to experience either a very unpleasant rotten life day in and out or clean the fridge. Do the healing work whenever you can. However you have to. Schedule it in.
Reach out and talk to me about what healing could look like for you. It’s not the same path for everyone. Not everyone is ready to heal in this lifetime in fact. Some of us are meant to carry this into the next life. Some of us are ready though.
How do you know you’re ready? Healing is scary, it’s hard, there’s a lot of ugly in it, and insecurity at first.
We know it’s worth it though. And we know we’re ready when we’re tired of putting up with the smell of our leftovers.
Until next, unique souls.
Until next, unique souls.
What Does It Take
What does it take to heal? What does it take to choose healing? What does it take to choose the uncomfortable to become comfortable?
You may feel trapped in a battle against yourself, and most of your entire life has been programmed to make you feel as if you’re at a disadvantage. You have been programmed to feel this way. You have been programmed to be defective. And the worst lie of them all was the programming that says there’s no hope for change, and that this is as good as it gets because you’re not a perfectly functioning specimen. The good news is, none of it’s true.
Unless you choose to allow it to be true, and surrender to this programming.
So, what you have to go inward to decide, is not if you’re broken, or if what I am saying is even true. But, after all the fight you’ve put in to get this far, are you going to play into the programming and let it victimize you, or are you willing to choose your highest good, your highest potential, the Super Girl inside of you that’s lying in wait? It’s not a simple road, but the red pill never is, but neither is anything worth having I suppose.
The hard reality is, to get to this point where you’re capable of making that decision you really have to get past rock bottom and tear out the entire foundation before rebuilding. You don’t just have to break, you have to get angry at your willingness to be broken. Once you’re sick of your shit, you’ll be able to break free. It’s pretty rare anyone can succeed in this without getting to this point. It helps to remember, God sends angels as our most painful battles and traumas to guide us and move us to precisely where we need to be.
So, you can lean into your reasons, the excuses we’ve allowed to shape our entire beings, that will support you and allow you to remain here, feeling this way in a never-ending cycle, helpless to change it. Or, you can choose the impossible, and I hope you do because it spells I’m Possible, what more powerful words do we need?
I know that sounds way easier than it is. Healing is never easy. It’s never simple. It’s not a pill, drink, diet plan, exercise plan, or therapy session. It’s a war, good versus evil, light versus dark, self versus self, killing off bad habits and reestablishing new positive and empowering habits. It’s duality, creating a new balance, a new world order, all inside your own world while the rest of the world stews in its angst and pain. Which can make it quite lonely as well.
Like learning a new skill or trade, you have to dedicate and be willing to suffer for the greater good of your end result.
It’s strangely easy to sit in our current stagnant state of being and just stay there. It’s safe, reliable. We know just what we’re going to feel. We know no one can take away our joy, because we have already forfeit joy. No one can break us because we’re already broken. What an easy peaceful way to go, to simply drown in it and let it consume us.
The question is, is easy what we really want, or is it just easy?
Until next, unique souls.
Until next, unique souls.
New Behaviors Create New Behaviors
New behaviors create new behaviors through a chain reaction, cause and effect.
Are you looking for your new habits?
When you take new actions to create new positive habits, are you looking for them and applauding yourself?
Each time you catch your new behavior you train yourself into the habit better as well as into self-love when you applaud yourself in some way. Give yourself a high-five in the mirror, a pat on the back, a big smile; in any way that suits you just be sure to mark the moment.
When you become aware of these behaviors you will learn to automatically seek out the behavior, causing you to do two things. You will 1, create the behavior; 2, become MORE self-aware.
Self-awareness is an empowering tool, but it must be used wisely. When we become more self-aware we also see more of our ‘flaws’ or ‘bad habits’ and a lot of times our automatic reaction is to degrade ourselves and punish ourselves and then those around us.
So what can we do when we’re trying to improve our self-awareness but it’s backfiring because we’re beating ourselves up like you’re trapped in a MFA fight with your worst enemy- yourself?
Breathe, count to three as you allow yourself to become aware that sure, you’ve done something entirely human that doesn’t meet your own standard, but also become aware now of your limiting self-talk. Slow down.
Ask yourself, is this going to matter in a decade? What about in the next five years? Three? One? A month from now? Tomorrow? An hour? Depending on the answer you can easily and quickly evaluate the severity and you can probably figure that it really wasn’t a big deal. Even if it is a big deal, it’s necessary to fall down. If we never fall down, how can we learn to get back up?
Now that we’ve established that not only is this necessary but recoverable, there’s no reason to berate yourself a second further. Reassure yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s necessary for everyone to grow and to learn. Simplify this process for yourself. Try a simple question to deescalate yourself when you’re spiraling into negativity. “How would I best like to react to this?”
You can allow that to lead you to other simple questions if you need to identify a solution. “What do I have to learn from this?”
“What’s the best end result of this situation?” Sometimes we need to work backward to identify the best path forward. So what’s the best end goal/result of your situation? Now once we can identify that, we can work backward and find the paths available to our results.
“What’s the simplest path to my goal?” Usually, the best way is the simplest way. If we accept this and look for the simplest way to our ideal end goal we are holding in mind the importance of our end result which maintains an alignment of staying true to the best path forward organically. When we focus on looking for the “best” path forward rather than the simplest, we begin to overanalyze and can get overwhelmed quickly with trying to analyze what’s “best” to a standard which we may have no ruler for.
The key is to find the right questions for your situation. This is the starting point of self-recovery.
Until next, unique souls.
Until next, unique souls.
Self Diagnosis is the Next Epidemic brought to you by the World Wide WebMD
Let me be the first to raise my hand and cry guilty on this. How could I not research my problems when I literally have so many of them? Until very recently I hadn’t met one (of dozens) doctor that was interested in getting to the bottom of what was wrong with me. For most of my life doctors had done me wrong, actually. They’d cut corners, not cared enough to really learn my body and health, or lack there of.
So there I was with the rest of them, reading and absorbing whatever information I could learn based on the information I had, which were my symptoms. Doctors hadn’t listened when I told them something was wrong with my gallbladder, or appendix. Both were septic they discovered almost ten months later, and promptly removed.
More often than not, I was right. More often than not because I truly studied medical journals from certified doctors in several fields, along with any other materials I could get, I admit. Sometimes you have to pick and choose which information just jives with other information you’ve read, and what sounds logical. Then there is the fact, you’re your own guinea pig.
This is such a conflicting issue for me. Even as I write this I’m about to delete it. We’ll see if it makes the cut or not in the long run. What I meant about the inner conflict goes back to not having doctors who would listen to me previously. While I certainly believe it’s a shame that most doctors go for the easy out more often than not, and prefer to put you on prescriptions than identify what your body needs nutritionally, this is not every doctor. There are great doctors out there who are all in, and when I say in they are all in for YOU. They want to get to the bottom of what is wrong with their patients, you, and what epidemics are plaguing this world. A lot of this epidemic comes from our fuel source: Food.
Three key factors come from this issue source.
The first step in resolving this starts at number 3 in this line up. We don’t know precisely what fuels our bodies are lacking most. When I see people complain of what most the world is complaining about, I immediately encourage them to go get a series of labs done at their doctor. Sometimes you will have to insist on this, sometimes the doctors won’t argue the logic and order up a full panel. It seems like a lot of work perhaps, and maybe you really hate needles. I understand entirely. Let me ask you if you fall into the majority 80% of people who have one of these issues…
A lot of these symptoms can be found in several different disorders or diseases, sometimes they happen on their own and become sort of a disorder on their own. Most of them can be better handled, better cared for, easier to live with, when your nutrition game is on on point Sorry to tell you, that goes beyond just eating whole foods and eating healthy ‘balanced’ meals. If you are eating great foods all the time, fantastic I am so happy for you to have the ability, willpower, and love for yourself and family to make this happen. It still may not be enough, though… Your body may not be absorbing something correctly, or perhaps it just has been overlooked. A nutrition panel workup can tell you what your body has too much of and not enough of. This could be iron, magnesium, vitamin D, or any number of the critical nutrients we need to succeed.
The concern, and reason for me writing this post, is I see a lot of people assuming that because you have these symptoms you atomically are in fact deficient in Vitamin D, (just as an example) so you go out and get supplements. But you weren’t vitamin D deficient, you were magnesium deficient which is the same symptoms.
This is an example of what happens when you over supplement the wrong thing or in the wrong way… (Brought to you by the MayoClinic)
“Vitamin D toxicity, also called hypervitaminosis D, is a rare but potentially serious condition that occurs when you have excessive amounts of vitamin D in your body.
Vitamin D toxicity is usually caused by megadoses of vitamin D supplements — not by diet or sun exposure. That’s because your body regulates the amount of vitamin D produced by sun exposure, and even fortified foods don’t contain large amounts of vitamin D.
The main consequence of vitamin D toxicity is a buildup of calcium in your blood (hypercalcemia), which can cause nausea and vomiting, weakness, and frequent urination. Symptoms might progress to bone pain and kidney problems, such as the formation of calcium stones.”
This is only one example. When I was younger I was anemic, but also contracted iron poisoning. I was anemic due to my stored iron levels being depleted, which is not the same as your iron levels. Due to not understand the type of anemia I had, I was put on supplements that caused iron poisoning and did nothing to heal the anemia.
So yes, I am a nutrition first when it comes to healing and wellness, I will take 40 vitamins a day to avoid one prescription medication. Though I am now a firm believer that we have to look deeper than the symptoms and treat the source of the problem. Taking prescriptions that are designed to stop symptoms only is like treating a broken bone with tylenol. It’s not efficient, and will not heal the bone. Taking vitamins in the wrong way without knowing what your body needs is as dangerous as treating a concussion with a pain reliever and a long nap.
So what’s the moral here? Talk to your body. Blood tests may not be fun, but think of them this way. It is your body’s voice to tell you exactly what is wrong and what it needs. Listen to your instinct when you feel something is wrong, but it’s not always best to assume our GoTo solution is the same as healing.
These days it seems like there is always something going on with our sinuses. Allergies, colds and flues, germs and mold, every time we turn the corner it’s to grab a tissue. In our house it is a constant battle of dusting and cleaning to help our full house breathe easy. (Speaking of breathing, I talk a lot about that right over here.)
While we all have our reasons, a lot of us don’t want to make a trip to the doctor for an irritating virus. There are a few simple tricks you can do to recover in record time, and even help improve your immune system so that you stop fighting these symptoms.
There are millions of home remedies, but this assortment of methods is just my family’s way of dealing with infections and viruses.
We clean everything with peroxide. I cannot tell you how much I love the little spray bottle they make now. I probably buy enough peroxide to own stock somewhere. So let’s run over the things that you need to be using this on and talk about the benefits you will see immediately.
Pillows and bedding in every room. If you use pillow cases make sure you strip the case. Spray your bare mattress, and use on sheets and pillow cases every morning before making the bed. If the dog sleeps in the bed mist the bed after it’s made, too.
Furniture, all your furniture can be cleaned with peroxide. With wood be careful of course, and use some wood oil after to prevent drying. In my experience this has not caused any discolorations between various types of fabrics.
Carpets, now this has an even better benefit, especially if you have pets. Peroxide is a fantastic deodorizer. I use peroxide daily on my carpets and we have four dogs and two boys. I promise if you walk in my house and all the animals are outside, you won’t even know we have pets! The house smells so good now that I use this to clean. It doesn’t smell like the perfume isle at Macy’s. It smells like home; home for us smells like cooking and burning wood usually. If you are wondering why you need to go so far as to disinfect your carpets, it’s simple. They’re dirty.
This is easiest done with an eye dropper. Two single drops in every one of your drinks, hot or cold. You will never taste it. Viruses, infections, bad bugs in general cannot survive easily in heavily oxygenated environments. This acts very similarly to Oxygen therapy. It’s just the cheapest version out there, and quite a sufficient one at that. This can help you with a world of ailments, but I won’t go into all of that for this article.
noun: peroxide; plural noun: peroxides
a compound containing two oxygen atoms bonded together in its molecule or as the anion O22−.
Peroxide is completely safe, though I certainly insist only taking it in small doses at a time, simply for the fact that it is so heavily oxygenated it can cause an upset stomach if you take too much. What happens if you take too much? Well, I threw up. Didn’t make me out right sick, just nauseated. I was young, overzealous, and downed a shot glass full trying to get rid of my bug. I felt fine within just a few minutes after.
We all take Sodium Bicarbonate pills when we’re not feeling our best, though I have to take them daily for ongoing care.
What is Sodium Bicarbonate? Baking soda! It helps regulate pH—keeping a substance neither too acidic nor too alkaline.
I cannot tell you how vital it is to have a proper pH balance, but this plays a crucial role in our bodies overall health. Without proper balance our body’s cells could cease to function. Our natural ability to heal and regenerate is greatly diminished. Our ability to absorb essential nutrients or detoxify and eliminate negative substances stops functioning like it’s supposed to. Even if your body is slightly alkaline, your body may not be able to heal itself. So basically, proper pH balance means a stronger total self and will keep us at our healthiest.
“Paying attention to acid-alkaline balance (or pH Balance) is one of the most crucial ways you can affect your health status. It impacts immunity, digestion, bone strength, symptoms of joint disease, hormones, and the function of essential internal organs.”
Susan Lark, M.D., co-author of The Chemistry of Success: Six Secrets of Peak Performance. Source: “pH power: maintain a proper acid-alkaline balance to curtail colds and keep inflammation in check” by Molly Spile, November 2005.
Soothe throats with this easy sweet blend. Since my children were old enough to have honey they have loved it. Since they were old enough to have cough medicine they’ve hated it. My fix? Each year I make a jar of my own syrup by mixing three simple ingredients.
Honey – We only use locally grown, raw honey. This is why.
Cinnamon – 1 heaping tablespoon. Here is why.
Lemon juice – I use organic pre-strained juice to avoid pulp seeds and get as much juice as I need. I used a 1/4th cup of lemon juice for a full 16 ounce jar of honey.
In addition to soothing throats, this combination when made with local raw honey has incredible health benefits. It is packed full of nutrients and minerals, which will strengthen your immune system.