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What Does It Take

The Shadow Self

What Does It Take

What does it take to heal? What does it take to choose healing? What does it take to choose the uncomfortable to become comfortable?

You may feel trapped in a battle against yourself, and most of your entire life has been programmed to make you feel as if you’re at a disadvantage. You have been programmed to feel this way. You have been programmed to be defective. And the worst lie of them all was the programming that says there’s no hope for change, and that this is as good as it gets because you’re not a perfectly functioning specimen. The good news is, none of it’s true.

Unless you choose to allow it to be true, and surrender to this programming.

So, what you have to go inward to decide, is not if you’re broken, or if what I am saying is even true. But, after all the fight you’ve put in to get this far, are you going to play into the programming and let it victimize you, or are you willing to choose your highest good, your highest potential, the Super Girl inside of you that’s lying in wait? It’s not a simple road, but the red pill never is, but neither is anything worth having I suppose.

The hard reality is, to get to this point where you’re capable of making that decision you really have to get past rock bottom and tear out the entire foundation before rebuilding. You don’t just have to break, you have to get angry at your willingness to be broken. Once you’re sick of your shit, you’ll be able to break free. It’s pretty rare anyone can succeed in this without getting to this point. It helps to remember, God sends angels as our most painful battles and traumas to guide us and move us to precisely where we need to be.

So, you can lean into your reasons, the excuses we’ve allowed to shape our entire beings, that will support you and allow you to remain here, feeling this way in a never-ending cycle, helpless to change it. Or, you can choose the impossible, and I hope you do because it spells I’m Possible, what more powerful words do we need?

I know that sounds way easier than it is. Healing is never easy. It’s never simple. It’s not a pill, drink, diet plan, exercise plan, or therapy session. It’s a war, good versus evil, light versus dark, self versus self, killing off bad habits and reestablishing new positive and empowering habits. It’s duality, creating a new balance, a new world order, all inside your own world while the rest of the world stews in its angst and pain. Which can make it quite lonely as well.

Like learning a new skill or trade, you have to dedicate and be willing to suffer for the greater good of your end result.

It’s strangely easy to sit in our current stagnant state of being and just stay there. It’s safe, reliable. We know just what we’re going to feel. We know no one can take away our joy, because we have already forfeit joy. No one can break us because we’re already broken. What an easy peaceful way to go, to simply drown in it and let it consume us.

The question is, is easy what we really want, or is it just easy?

What Does It Take

 

 

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The Shadow Self

The Shadow Self
The Shadow Self
The shadow self is all the parts of us we have been shoving in imaginary boxes, bottling up, the pieces of us we have suffocated, smothered, and tried to stomp out of existence due to fear of judgment, fear of the unknown, fear of loss. The shadow self also holds all our dormant power, all our hidden strength. These things, these emotions, traumas, strengths all become intertwined as we suppress and hide.
As we do this we can no longer fully support our highest good. So then we seek outside validation. We crave peace and change, so we dye our hair, get a new tattoo, a new piercing, a new job, new spouse.
Does any of this sound familiar yet?
The Shadow Self
I know I need to journal and look deeper into something I have carried for over a decade… and today I intend on addressing this head-on. It’s been building in me all week, desperately trying to get my attention. My Shadow Self is calling me.
Not feeling good enough for my family… not feeling good enough means I don’t feel worthy. How can I ever reclaim my family if I don’t feel worthy of them? Why do I feel this way when I know damn well I am a great mom? Not perfect, but no less great. This is my own pain. Those of you who know my story understand this. But when my kids are here with me I’m bombarded by this overwhelming emotion a lot. If V didn’t like the sandwich I so lovingly made, or the expensive thing I bought goes untouched and unwanted then I feel like I failed. I got S a slushy and those are his favorite but he took one drink and didn’t want the rest, why the hell does that translate into being a failure as a mom? Not even logical! And that’s not to mention my financial failures as a mom. Not being able to afford the shoes when needed and wanted, the better sweatshirts, the games.
There have been so many nos because I couldn’t which made me feel like a failure as a mother, because I wasn’t providing at my own top tier expectations. Then guilt because I am encoding lack and money issues into my children at such a critical age = more guilt.
Anyone else have those mom burdens? Maybe, maybe not.
But they can be healed. I know this because I’ve healed so many other things. Acceptance and admitting to these feelings is a huge first step when addressing our inner negativity.
When we give our pain attention in the right way that’s when it turns from wallowing into healing.
Where do these feelings come from?
How do I best experience these feelings?
What do these feelings need me to hear?
What do I need from me right now to heal?
What is the path of least resistance in my journey to healing?
Write out these questions without yet feeling called to answer them. If journaling is not an option to you right now but you want to initiate this practice to begin implementing these empowerment questions now, touch the fingertips of your left hand onto your heart chakra and ask aloud each question three times. This activates an instant heart-mind coherence that is most powerful and will reap you many rewards.

Until next, unique souls.

 

Love always,

Momma Faye

 

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Cleanse Your Chakras

The Shadow Self
Cleanse Your Chakras
Cleanse your chakras easily and effectively every time you shower.  This practice will leave you feeling more refreshed and energized after each shower and help discharge toxicity in the body be it stored in energy form or the physical body.
Many of us are at least familiar with the chakras. This cleansing practice is a powerful method of restoring balance to all layers of the self. Do this in the shower ideally when you wake or after a rough day.
Hold your left hand at the base of your spine, with your right hand three or four inches in front of you above the skin for your first chakra. With your fingers of your right hand spin your chakra counterclockwise, like winding a clock backward, rotating your fingers in a circle.
This eliminates sludge and toxins that adhere to the walls of the chakras.
Rinse your fingers and proceed on to the second chakra, rinsing thoroughly in between each as you move through the chakra system. Rise up to your solar plexus, the third chakra where your self-worth and self-image is stored. Be present in this cleansing process. What comes up for you as you’re turning this dial back, scrubbing the proverbial walls of your sacred energy body? If you suddenly start crying for example, spend extra loving time on this chakra.
Pay attention to your heart chakra, this cleansing process may be a more thorough and more gentle method of energetic “cord cutting” used to release energy connections that no longer serve your highest good. What emotions and thoughts come to you as you cleanse the chakra?
Cleanse The Chakras
Visualize your cleansing, imagine the colors of your chakras, first dull and maybe even dark or black, and how they become more vivid, bright, and vibrant with color as you cleanse each one, being sure to cleanse your fingers between each chakra.
Do you sing in the shower? If so, this is a beautiful way to charge your throat chakra as you cleanse as well. Purify and recharge, speak your truth, face your lies, purse and wash all away that no longer belongs.
Your third eye chakra, your sixth chakra. You may feel pressure headaches, vision impairment, and fall prey to many schemes or lies of others if your third eye is blocked or negatively charged.
The crown chakra, the lotus, seventh chakra, at the top of your head. Turn the dial back, open your mind to release all that no longer serves you. Scrub clean your negative belief system, scrub clean your false programs and internal lies.
If you have an opportunity to play music during your shower this is an excellent time to combine chakra balancing frequencies to your cleansing process.
You can use this practice every day to help purify and strengthen the vibrancy of your chakras. If you don’t feel you have time or forget, just implement this practice whenever you’re able. It will help support your healing and your day to day health and well being.

Until next, unique souls.

 

Love always,

Momma Faye

 

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New Behaviors Create New Behaviors

The Shadow Self

New Behaviors Create New Behaviors

New behaviors create new behaviors through a chain reaction, cause and effect.

Are you looking for your new habits?

When you take new actions to create new positive habits, are you looking for them and applauding yourself?

Each time you catch your new behavior you train yourself into the habit better as well as into self-love when you applaud yourself in some way. Give yourself a high-five in the mirror, a pat on the back, a big smile; in any way that suits you just be sure to mark the moment.

When you become aware of these behaviors you will learn to automatically seek out the behavior, causing you to do two things. You will 1, create the behavior; 2, become MORE self-aware.

Self-awareness is an empowering tool, but it must be used wisely. When we become more self-aware we also see more of our ‘flaws’ or ‘bad habits’ and a lot of times our automatic reaction is to degrade ourselves and punish ourselves and then those around us.

So what can we do when we’re trying to improve our self-awareness but it’s backfiring because we’re beating ourselves up like you’re trapped in a MFA fight with your worst enemy- yourself?

PAUSE

Breathe, count to three as you allow yourself to become aware that sure, you’ve done something entirely human that doesn’t meet your own standard, but also become aware now of your limiting self-talk. Slow down.

Ask yourself, is this going to matter in a decade? What about in the next five years? Three? One? A month from now? Tomorrow? An hour? Depending on the answer you can easily and quickly evaluate the severity and you can probably figure that it really wasn’t a big deal. Even if it is a big deal, it’s necessary to fall down. If we never fall down, how can we learn to get back up?

Now that we’ve established that not only is this necessary but recoverable, there’s no reason to berate yourself a second further. Reassure yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s necessary for everyone to grow and to learn. Simplify this process for yourself. Try a simple question to deescalate yourself when you’re spiraling into negativity. “How would I best like to react to this?”

You can allow that to lead you to other simple questions if you need to identify a solution. “What do I have to learn from this?”

“What’s the best end result of this situation?” Sometimes we need to work backward to identify the best path forward. So what’s the best end goal/result of your situation? Now once we can identify that, we can work backward and find the paths available to our results.

“What’s the simplest path to my goal?” Usually, the best way is the simplest way. If we accept this and look for the simplest way to our ideal end goal we are holding in mind the importance of our end result which maintains an alignment of staying true to the best path forward organically. When we focus on looking for the “best” path forward rather than the simplest, we begin to overanalyze and can get overwhelmed quickly with trying to analyze what’s “best” to a standard which we may have no ruler for.

The key is to find the right questions for your situation. This is the starting point of self-recovery.

Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/johnhain-352999/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=998996">John Hain</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=998996">Pixabay</a>

Until next, unique souls.

 

Love always,

Momma Faye

 

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Gratitude and Destiny

How are gratitude and destiny connected?
What if embracing gratitude and destiny could realign you to your true path?
Without the practice of unconditional gratitude, I never would have been able to create this program, let alone understand the power in this process.
Everyone knows what gratitude is. We’ve surely all heard about the practice of gratitude. It’s a well-known practice for journaling. Many people use morning and evening gratitude practices.
A couple of years ago I started using gratitude throughout my day. My anxiety and depression had come to a peak. For some reason, for me to find any healing in any area of my life I often have to come to absolute rock bottom before I find my lift-off. Maybe that’s the way for a lot of people, I don’t know. Stubbornness and determination though are part of my makeup. I would say that’s why I’m here, too.
I had decided to embrace a belief system to give me a new foundation to build from. A place to create sanity in a world of chaos.
This belief system said every single thing happens for a reason if we can see it or not. Good bad and ugly it all has a purpose in my life. Most often I have learned it’s about some lesson but sometimes it’s absolutely physical. For example, I was supposed to start a part-time job today. Yesterday they called to tell me I couldn’t start until Thursday. At exactly 7:05 Monday night when moments before I had been perfectly fine I was suddenly the next victim of my son’s stomach flu. How would it have panned out for me had I needed to call in my first day? Everything happens for a reason. Embracing this belief system has created so much empowerment in my life.
It was this belief system that demanded I dig deeper into gratitude. I started seeing some of the alternatives of what would’ve happened had x not happened. I started becoming grateful for everything. Even bad things and their valuable lessons.
It helped when I heard Dr. Joe Dispenza give a talk, telling a story about a woman who’d been raped and suffered every night since with horrible night terrors. She’d gone through years of therapy, which lead her down the path of alternative therapies, mindfulness, and then one of Dispenza’s group retreats with meditation. On day two of her retreat Source spoke to her and said, twelve years ago I sent four angels disguised as rapists. She was suddenly liberated. Without that experience, she never would have taken her journey. She never experienced another nightmare and went on to use the gifts of her journey to help others.
Hearing that said, I sent you angels disguised as trauma and pain…. This has been so empowering. I’m confident that I’m always in the right place at the right time, and when you have that confidence suddenly things start going better, turning more in your favor, because you’re always in the right place at the right time for all the best reasons so great things start aligning with you.
Gratitude aligns you with the respect of all things happen for a reason, so you must be in the right place at the right time, so whatever you’re experiencing must be necessary. Now that you know it’s necessary you can look closer and discover why. Sometimes, just asking the universe why heals the wounds of life patterns because it allows for the answer to come to realization.
How do you practice gratitude?
What has it done for you in your life?
What does the practice of gratitude mean for you?

Until next, unique souls.

 

Love always,

Momma Faye

 

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What Makes This Important

The Shadow Self

It’s important that I make clear, for the sake of my path forward, that I understand what makes this important to me?

Once or twice I’ve mentioned my past and dropped vague mention to my journey of healing. Vague mentions are about all I ever commit to in regards to myself. Anytime I can redirect attention off of me, it’s already done. Which is so contradictory to my inane desire to be an entrepreneur, and to carve my own beautiful and unique path.

 

Social media has been a struggle for me for quite a few years, so when I stand here now, trying to establish my presence, it feels foreign. 

 

I think what will keep me here is this though… The time I have been waiting for has arrived, and my success deserves the sacrifice of my comfort if that’s all that’s holding me back. But what drives my ability to overcome that discomfort and acknowledge my worthiness has been in great thanks to the book. Being able to surrender that my success is not just critical to me, it’s critical to everyone, it’s critical to the universe. 

 

This is my purpose, or at the very least, one portion of that greater picture.

 

During the production of this book, I find myself faced with an overwhelm of options. This book is a seed, a seed that can blossom into any number of beautiful flowers. How I care for and water the seed will determine what it blossoms into. 

 

This book touches on one of the greatest pain points we all face. Our own inner voice, our inner dialogue that addresses how we speak to ourselves. This is the reflection of our true self-worth. This is what holds us back. This is our inner monster setting fires, lighting the match to our self-destruction. 

 

Only, not only do we look at this dragon inside of us, the program itself is the sword that slays the dragon. I know this because it’s working for other people and everyone who has tried it so far. There’s power here that I feel blessed to have discovered and obligated to share.

 

I know that has to shape the destiny of this book. What’s important here? Sharing the message. The message is simple, the training, the process, once you learn how to break down our barriers it comes so quick and easy. Why is it so quick and easy?

 

The answer isn’t important. I teach that too. There is magic in the surrender. 

 

We’ve been coached since birth that when you ask a question you must find and receive an answer. It’s taught when you’re asked a question you’re expected to either A. answer or B. excuse your lack of knowing to go seek the answer, but nevertheless, there must be an answer. But what if you didn’t need an answer? How would not receiving an answer affect the outcome? How does no answer provide more opportunity for bigger answers or even multiple answers?

 

These are all keys in the process of reprogramming your core systems, the baseline structure.

 

What makes this important? Even Xanax can’t shut up your inner monologue until you pass out. Valium doesn’t make you hate yourself less the next day. This workbook is the pill we’ve all been looking for. Or it’s been mine and has been for several others too. It’s such a blessing to finally be here, finally be able to write this. How fortunate am I?

 

Until next, unique souls.

 

Love always,

Momma Faye

 

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Behind The Scenes “The Girl From 999”

Behind The Scenes “The Girl From 999”

 

I love history, all history. I nerd out on historical documentaries on a regular basis. Sometimes, it’s the only way I can fall asleep.

I also love all things paranormal, fantasy, and scifi. This is not a secret, as you will see from my heavily laden paranormal bookshelf, with just a couple of exceptions on it.

The Girl From 999 will be my ultimate tribute to history and my country.

Born on the full moon eve of Summer Solstice of year 999, Catori is our true protagonist, though that won’t become too apparent until we are well submerged into our story. This was a difficult story to start, because where do you start when you are writing the origin story of the birth of a nation, not just the origin of one powerful immortal who finds herself tied to the country she grows up with.

Imagine coming to America with the Vikings, 500 years before Columbus was even born. This is where the story really began, so this is where the story had to start. We start with Catori’s family. Her mother comes to the continent as a child, with very little understanding as to why they’ve abandoned their home in the Netherlands to come to a wild land of natives where they have nothing and no one to help them.

While they go through many hardships, life is good. They have each other, and the land is good to them. The birth of a child ignites the birth of a country. When the Vikings came to the continent they were generous enough to bring with them diseases the natives had never encountered before. This would be the first of many challenges that propel us through the growing pains of America and a powerful young witch.

I really wanted to experience history through this series. So I knew our protagonist would be immortal. There is just something entrancing about immortality, especially the fantasy of seeing history happen firsthand. Originally, I thought to start with the voyage of the Mayflower, but that wasn’t where America’s story started. Just like how starting with Catori as a young woman would be starting the story in the middle rather than the beginning.  I want to show America when the Indians reignes supreme.  Yes, this does mean we will follow all the great tragedies as well as the most defining events of our time.

This makes it difficult to create a balance for the flow of the story. There is a lot more tragedy than positivity in our first thousand years. Because of this, I really feel it was important to show the love of Catori’s family and how bonded to the land they become.

As we evolve through each chapter, this really becomes the story about the greatest patriot to ever exist. Catori is the only person to live through every major event to turn a wild continent into the United States of America. She helps the Indians, she brokers peace between them and the Pilgrims. She suffers with the land through some very ugly growing pains. Traumatized by the war against the Indians, she retreats deeper into the wild until the revolutionary war lands on her doorstep, forcing her to get involved.

Catori becomes an integral part of the development of our country by happenstance, first by becoming immortal, then by trying to survive the ambitious plans of man.

War after war, injustice after injustice, she simply can’t turn a blind eye and finds herself in the middle of some incredibly important moments, and through this helps define our country. Ultimately she surrenders to her fate, and accepts that she has a responsibility to be a support and takes on a more serious role.

Clearly, not even an Epic High Fantasy could come close to covering this much history and this much story. So is born the Saga of The Girl From 999.

I can’t wait to see where this one’s going to go. Whatever happens, I have a feeling I’ll be as surprised as anyone.

Thank you for coming by. This has been your Behind-The-Scenes sneak peak into “The Girl From 999”

I hope I can do it justice.

 

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Sneak Peak “The Girl From 999”

Hello there! So lately I have had a new story brewing, and while it has taken a while I am finally starting to spill it out. This one is really exciting for me and has been an absolute blast to write.

To give you a bit of insight as to where this story will take you, we start with the very first ships to come to the Americas, and as we go on, we will follow our protagonist through the ages of time, the birth of a nation and on.

I do hope you enjoy it.

The working title right now is The Girl From 999

Prelude

 

June 17, 999 AD 

Summer Solstice

Vadoma’s hand stroked loving circles around her mountain of a belly before she was even fully awake, not that she’d been fully asleep. Sleep had evaded her more often than not. A knot of excitement must have been nestled against her tiny child inside her, and that knot had grown with her baby. That night though, she’d gone to sleep smelling magic on the air. Her baby was coming, she could feel it. 

The crickets were going to sleep, a few birds were up before the dawn, chirping happily about their moonlit breakfast. Vedoma often woke at this time. It was always the most peaceful moment of the day. Her only real moment of rest and ease, breathing in the cool air as she listened to the night fall asleep.

A kick from inside her belly against her ribs said good morning. Her babe was an early riser, too. Fingers tickling against her belly, she felt the little foot from the outside in. She’d never imagined carrying a baby would have been so magical. Vedoma’d had a blessed and easy pregnancy. Truly, she’d been blessed by the three crones of the wood. Today, Vedoma and her mother would travel through the wood to their cave to deliver her baby. 

The tiny foot kicked against Bao’s back hard enough to kick a snore loose of him. Vedoma and her lover slept upon a bed of leather hides piled over winter furs in a shallow cave; a large rock ledge protecting a beautiful inlet to the mountain. It was the coldest place on her family’s land. With Vedoma in her final months of pregnancy, she’d been too hot to stay in their homestead. Her lover Bao had been eager to see to her comfort and set to work to make the mouth of the mountain as comfortable and safe as possible. He’d formed a safer path so that she wouldn’t have to climb to reach what had always been her favorite place. There was no better place to see the moon or to watch the stars. 

Their land backed up to a picturesque mountain range, surrounding their ravine and providing the perfect homestead. Hunting was plentiful in the mountains, as was foraging. The earth was so rich, everything they planted grew under the care of their family’s hand. It was all in great thanks to her mother. Alihana knew plants like no one else. She spoke to them, and they seemed to speak back. It made sense to Vedoma and her family, for that’s just how it always was. Alihana taught her daughter well, though Vedoma never did learn to speak to the plants so she sang to them instead. Her mother insisted they liked it very much and thrived to hear Vedoma’s song. As her mind wandered, thinking not just of her baby but of her family and the lives they’d built in this wild land.

They’d traveled by boat, a fleet of Viking folk mostly, and several nomads. Vedoma had been a young girl, only about eleven at the time. Her brother Kristo barely nine. The first three years had been the hardest. Carrying everything they owned on their backs, they’d parted ways from the others and made their way inland. Fear of a wild land and the unknown natives kept their small family moving. It did no good to ask where they were going, for they had no way of knowing in this wild place. Her mother said she would know when they had arrived. It was the only answer Vedoma received when she asked how long before they would settle. This land frightened her. There were natives that kept their distance but often watched. Vedoma often felt eyes on them as they made their way, her father Zechariah leading the way with a giant blade for brush. Kristo, determined to be brave and strong as their father, followed with a much smaller blade for wacking at shrubs as he trailed along behind them. There were animals and creatures of all kinds around them, day and night. The night was the most frightening. She’d never heard dogs like these before. Sometimes it sounded like something screaming, but it was the dogs. Wolves were often quiet, and could only be heard howling. These dogs would yip and bay as they hunted and tracked. They were loud, sometimes so close it hurt their ears. Those nights their father wouldn’t sleep but would keep watch to keep them safe. It was three months before they’d woven their way around into a valley that faced a mountain range so large Vedoma felt her heart sank at the idea of trekking further with all their supplies. They’d lost a great deal during the time it had taken to get here. The land that were to be their salvation would come with a price. Feeling she might cry, she hardened herself, gritting her teeth to not let her family see her weaken. Kristo’s eyes grew big, looking up to Vedoma for comfort and finding only his same fears. Before either child could speak, her mother cried out, quickly throwing down her pack, her arms flew up into the air as she spun happily through the lush field. “Here!” Alihana cried. “We’re here!” The children collapsed, shedding their loads and rolling themselves on the ground overjoyed at the sheer relief. The hard work to come next was a labor of love and joy. While perhaps her mother and father would disagree, Vedoma recalled no grievances or arguments even with young Kristo through the months that followed, building their home, plowing the land by hand for gardening. Before winter, their father had killed a bore, only to find its piglets had then been left without a mother. Their homestead then had hogs to raise. The land provided to them in countless ways, as if its mission were to provide for them. Vedoma had not been blind to this magic nor ungrateful, so she set to learning her mother’s ways to give back to the land and care for it well. 

As she lay, watching the sky lighten slowly, one hand pet her belly, the other tangling into Bao’s silky black hair. She hoped their child would have hair as beautiful as his. Bao was native to these lands, he’d been sent to track and keep watch of these strangers when the fleet had arrived. Being just a boy himself, Bao had been warned to keep his distance at all costs, not to intervene or interact unless they sought to harm him.

Their home was nearly finished. Hard work was their life since settling in this place, from sun up to sundown there was work to be done. Building their home, she hoped soon they’d have a roof. They’d had to stop work on their shelter to build a pin for the hogs. It seemed like the more Vedoma wanted their home finished, the more life would interrupt and slow down their progress. Their father Zechariah had been hurt, a shaft of wood had pierced his arm. It would heal, but the hard work fell on Kristo and Vedoma as their mother tended to the chores that kept them all alive and well. Kristo was creating thatch bundles when their mother called to Vedoma. She needed elderberries that only grew in the forest here. Alihana was making salves and medicines for Zechariah, and anything else the coming months could surprise them with. She liked to be prepared and wanted to stock up before the change of seasons. It was a happy change of pace to take on the task of foraging. Before she’d made it out the door her mother had a list of herbs and berries for her daughter to gather and bring back. Vedoma was so eager to be off to the wood, she paid little mind to anything other than casually looking for the elderberries and lamb’s quarter her mother so coveted. Wild mushrooms would also be a nice change, she thought as a reason to travel further into the wood up the mountainside. Fall was coming. She’d seen snakes plenty in the valley, mostly green or black. She’d put out of her mind the dangers they’d learned about on their journey to the valley, the beasts so small one might not notice them at all. Not quite intentionally, Vedoma lost track of time, traveling further and further up the mountain. The wild edibles were better up here. She already had half a bundle. The weather was so nice, it was good to take her time and look for the best of what there was to find. She’d never seen a copperhead up close, though their father had killed several snakes of all kinds. She’d not noticed it nestled in the leaves as she carelessly pushed brush aside with her free hand to look for the wrinkly mushrooms that only grew in the wet seasons. She’d gone so far from home that her family never heard her scream. Her bundle fell as she clutched her hand, stumbling back and tripping over the underbrush she tumbled down a steep slope only coming to a stop for a fallen tree her small body crashed against. Hitting her head caused her to lose focus, only staying conscious for the pain screaming in her hand. Bao ran like a young deer, fleeting through the brush towards where he’d heard the cries. He’d been hunting squirrels when he heard her. He couldn’t explain why he hadn’t already returned to his people, to tell his father about these strangers and the amazing mountains he’d never before seen. It hadn’t been easy, being so alone these months, watching this family from afar, while so far from his own. He’d never gotten close before, not really, his father had forbade it for the risks were too great. This warning was lost on him the moment he’d heard the girl cry out. Tears and a little blood stained her cheeks. She was hardly conscious when Bao came to a sudden halt at her side. Scooping her up, he ran with her as if she weighed nothing. His campsite was so small, all to make of it was a small coal and ash firepit remnant of his hunt from the day prior. It was further up the mountain, but this was closer than her family. Her hand was swollen and turning purple already, a lump on her forehead seeped blood where she lay. Bao used ash from the fire on her forehead to stop the bleeding before tending to her hand. He’d seen many snake bites, and other bites from creatures even smaller and deadlier than that. To be a man, you had to know how to take care of these things if you were going to survive the wild. At age fifteen, Bao thought himself a man because he was exceptionally good at surviving. Soon, night would fall. Fortunately for them both, Vedoma was unconscious while Bao tended to the snake bite. Her family would be growing worried by now and could come looking for her. Should they be found together out here they would surely think the worst of him, and could even try to kill Bao. Watching her lie there, sick with pain from the venom, he couldn’t leave her alone either. So be it, he thought trying to be brave, I’ll stay with her until my death should it keep her safe. While changing her poultice, he woke. She wasn’t afraid to see him. Relief swept over Vedoma as her eyes rest on this boy, or was he a man? Almost a man, she thought. He froze, unsure how she’d respond to him. All she did was look at him. It was a moment to realize that’s all she could do. Slowly, cautiously, he reached out and touched her forehead. She had no fever, nor was she cold, a concern as sweat soaked her brow. Considering what he should do, Bao touched his chest then pointing down the mountainside towards the valley. He’d go get her family. A slight inclination of acknowledgment made her tired. Patting her cheek sharply her eyes shot back open. “No,” Bao said firmly. He knew little English, but she seemed to understand as her eyes widened to refocus on the world. She needed to stay awake. Bao ran as fast as he’d ever ran in his life that day, flitting through the trees like a mountain lion on the run. He ran so fast he couldn’t slow down after he broke through the trees. Zechariah was outside with Kristo, clearly getting ready to head into the wood to look for Vedoma. Startled, Zechariah drew his knife turning to face Bao aggressively before realizing he was looking at a mere boy. Bao skidded to a stop with his hands up as if to plea with him. “Ageyutsa. Ageyutsa!” Bao sneered, frustrated that this man couldn’t understand his language. Bao’s hands grew frantic, not knowing how to express what he meant about the girl. Alihana ran up from behind Zechariah and Kristo “He knows where Vedoma is!” she stayed her husband’s hand which brandished the knife. Excitedly Bao pointed to Alihana, recognizing the name they called the girl. “Ve-domah-Ageyutsa!” Bao, tried out the word they called the daughter, pairing it to his own language.

She wondered if she’d have ever met Bao had she not been bitten by that snake. Would he have returned home soon, convinced they were no threat to anyone. Had he not been there in the woods then, Vedoma surely would have died that day. 

Bao did return home not long after that fated day. He knew for certain the pale strangers he’d been tasked with watching were no threat to anyone, certainly not his people. It was time to complete his mission, and return to his people with what he had learned.  Illness had taken many of his people. One, or even more, of the fleet that had brought her family also brought diseases the natives had never encountered before. What little was left of his tribe had been forced to move on. The rest had been burned. With nowhere else to go and little thought to be had about the decision, he returned to the northern mountains. 

It was hard to believe that was now more than five years ago. Another kick against Bao’s back was enough to wake him. Rolling over, he leaned down to kiss her swollen belly before leaning back up to greet her lips. “My mahela,” he cooed into her neck as he stretched awake. Mahela being the honored name for a woman with child in his native tongue.  

Bao could see the look in her eye as if knowing a great secret. “What is it?” She smiled. “Today. She’ll come today,” Vedoma whispered. ‘You’re sure?” Bao nearly lept to his feet as if to get ready right this moment, but for what he wasn’t so sure of. She laughed as she watched him. 

“Yes, I’m certain.” Her hand rubbed circles over her belly idly. 

Kneeling down to her, their hands joined. “Tell me what you need.” 

Vedoma and her mother had been preparing for this day for many months. Special herbs had been grown by her mother’s gifted hands and blessed in drying rituals usually reserved for shamans and spirit walkers. Even Kristo had been recruited to help dip candles. Candles had been made with blends of flower petals, set out every night to soak up the energy of the moon, her mother explained. They were to light the path for her child, to guide her safely into this world. Of course with herbs comes tea, and there was much tea to be had. Tea was important for her health, her mother insisted.

While it came from a place of love, her mother was strict about how Vedoma cared for herself during her pregnancy. Alihana had become a midwife in their homeland, for all she knew about medicine and plants. She was a medicine woman more than a midwife, Alihana had been caring for people all her life until they’d arrived in this new place. So naturally, her family took the brunt of all that extra care Alihana had to give.

“Lay with me a little longer?” Easing down beside her, Bao’s arms snaked under and around Vedoma, pulling her to him. “I will lay with you for eternity” he exhaled contently against her soft hair.

As the sun rose, brilliant golden light shot beams through clouds of lavender and hibiscus pink, painting the valley that cascaded out below. It was a phenomenal moment, so powerful. As if the heavens knew that such a day deserved nothing less. So powerful was this Summer Solstice day, that it would bring with it a dazzling rain of shooting stars as night fell upon them.

To ease her through the labor pains, Bao would help her count the stars, something they had done often for Vedoma was in love with the sky. With the moon high and bright, kismet kissed this most miraculous day with the birth of a child in the mid of the night. Her name would be Catori.

 

 

That is our origin! To have some fun I have some fun pictures to share that helped inspire our origin.

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Who Are You

Wow.  Who are you?

While I knew I had a website, I had put it so far out of my head, it seems like I kind of wish I didn’t have one. Then, while working along on some other website work I see that I have gotten 22 visitors this month, and continue to get visitors every month. Huh? Who are you people? Did you read my books? See a painting? How did you find me? 

Are you looking for that other author using my almost-name with the tacky overcooked covers? Ironic that we both write paranormal, but I’m pretty damn certain that’s not her real name anyway. But, this is me, Jacquelynn Faye, though now it is Jacquelynn Faye Thompson. 

A lot sure has happened since I put this site together. A lot of struggle went down to carve out this path, for certain. Also interesting that it took a lot of pain; but that’s what births a writer I suppose, pain. It’s only interesting though because, as previously mentioned, I’m an author and that’s the most likely reason you’re here. Why are you here? Wondering if there’s been any new work lately? Just me, I’m afraid. Not that that’s been no small achievement. It’s been monumental! Just not one I can sell to you. Yet. Entirely. I do love contracting, though. Always a new experience. Just reach out. 

I wonder how long it will be before I come back with something more to offer you? I didn’t just leave the website, I left the internet. Well, except Pinterest. I do love me some Pinterest. (YES you can find all of my work on Pinterest!) I left most officially when I locked down my Facebook account and removed my profile picture. Social Media just isn’t for me, folks. I tried. I liked the shiny. It was a lovely shiny. A place to pretend I had a social life, pretend I had friends, discovered my love for writing no less, and maybe did some good with. It’s also how I found my Bear, our rescue.

Baby Bear

He’s a loon. I adore him.

So there are good things out there. I don’t deny this. Most writers, or actually most anyone trying to make money as a solo artist/entrepreneur knows the pitfalls of kicking social media to the curb. How can you get discovered when you don’t shout at the masses? 

I don’t know. Who are you and how did you find me? I still sell books monthly. Call it talent call it magic call it good luck, it’s a good feeling to know I haven’t been forgotten by the world and that my work still holds merit for some of you.

What were your goals coming here, I wonder? See, I read too much into these things. I’m contributing on the other websites now. My work is spreading into new areas. My interests are spreading into some incredible sciences, bioengineering, epigenetics, biocentrism. On the writing slab, I’m working on a historical fiction, albeit slowly. The seed has been planted at least. If you are here on purpose, if this is intentional, say as much. What would you like to know? What are you looking for? You’re not a crazy ex, are you? 

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Self Diagnosis is the Next Epidemic

Self Diagnosis is the Next Epidemic brought to you by the World Wide WebMD

Let me be the first to raise my hand and cry guilty on this. How could I not research my problems when I literally have so many of them? Until very recently I hadn’t met one (of dozens) doctor that was interested in getting to the bottom of what was wrong with me. For most of my life doctors had done me wrong, actually. They’d cut corners, not cared enough to really learn my body and health, or lack there of.

So there I was with the rest of them, reading and absorbing whatever information I could learn based on the information I had, which were my symptoms. Doctors hadn’t listened when I told them something was wrong with my gallbladder, or appendix. Both were septic they discovered almost ten months later, and promptly removed.

More often than not, I was right. More often than not because I truly studied medical journals from certified doctors in several fields, along with any other materials I could get, I admit. Sometimes you have to pick and choose which information just jives with other information you’ve read, and what sounds logical. Then there is the fact, you’re your own guinea pig.

This is such a conflicting issue for me. Even as I write this I’m about to delete it. We’ll see if it makes the cut or not in the long run. What I meant about the inner conflict goes back to not having doctors who would listen to me previously. While I certainly believe it’s a shame that most doctors go for the easy out more often than not, and prefer to put you on prescriptions than identify what your body needs nutritionally, this is not every doctor. There are great doctors out there who are all in, and when I say in they are all in for YOU. They want to get to the bottom of what is wrong with their patients, you, and what epidemics are plaguing this world. A lot of this epidemic comes from our fuel source: Food.

Three key factors come from this issue source.

  1. We eat the wrong things.
  2. We don’t eat enough of the right things.
  3. We don’t know precisely what fuels our bodies are lacking most.

The first step in resolving this starts at number 3 in this line up. We don’t know precisely what fuels our bodies are lacking most. When I see people complain of what most the world is complaining about, I immediately encourage them to go get a series of labs done at their doctor. Sometimes you will have to insist on this, sometimes the doctors won’t argue the logic and order up a full panel. It seems like a lot of work perhaps, and maybe you really hate needles. I understand entirely. Let me ask you if you fall into the majority 80% of people who have one of these issues…

  • Muscle or Physical Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Trouble Sleeping
  • Moody or Irritable
  • Anxiety
  • Depression

A lot of these symptoms can be found in several different disorders or diseases, sometimes they happen on their own and become sort of a disorder on their own. Most of them can be better handled, better cared for, easier to live with, when your nutrition game is on on point Sorry to tell you, that goes beyond just eating whole foods and eating healthy ‘balanced’ meals. If you are eating great foods all the time, fantastic I am so happy for you to have the ability, willpower, and love for yourself and family to make this happen. It still may not be enough, though… Your body may not be absorbing something correctly, or perhaps it just has been overlooked. A nutrition panel workup can tell you what your body has too much of and not enough of. This could be iron, magnesium, vitamin D, or any number of the critical nutrients we need to succeed.

The concern, and reason for me writing this post, is I see a lot of people assuming that because you have these symptoms you atomically are in fact deficient in Vitamin D, (just as an example) so you go out and get supplements. But you weren’t vitamin D deficient, you were magnesium deficient which is the same symptoms.

This is an example of what happens when you over supplement the wrong thing or in the wrong way… (Brought to you by the MayoClinic)

“Vitamin D toxicity, also called hypervitaminosis D, is a rare but potentially serious condition that occurs when you have excessive amounts of vitamin D in your body.

Vitamin D toxicity is usually caused by megadoses of vitamin D supplements — not by diet or sun exposure. That’s because your body regulates the amount of vitamin D produced by sun exposure, and even fortified foods don’t contain large amounts of vitamin D.

The main consequence of vitamin D toxicity is a buildup of calcium in your blood (hypercalcemia), which can cause nausea and vomiting, weakness, and frequent urination. Symptoms might progress to bone pain and kidney problems, such as the formation of calcium stones.”

This is only one example. When I was younger I was anemic, but also contracted iron poisoning. I was anemic due to my stored iron levels being depleted, which is not the same as your iron levels. Due to not understand the type of anemia I had, I was put on supplements that caused iron poisoning and did nothing to heal the anemia.

So yes, I am a nutrition first when it comes to healing and wellness, I will take 40 vitamins a day to avoid one prescription medication. Though I am now a firm believer that we have to look deeper than the symptoms and treat the source of the problem. Taking prescriptions that are designed to stop symptoms only is like treating a broken bone with tylenol. It’s not efficient, and will not heal the bone. Taking vitamins in the wrong way without knowing what your body needs is as dangerous as treating a concussion with a pain reliever and a long nap.

So what’s the moral here? Talk to your body. Blood tests may not be fun, but think of them this way. It is your body’s voice to tell you exactly what is wrong and what it needs. Listen to your instinct when you feel something is wrong, but it’s not always best to assume our GoTo solution is the same as healing.