So, I failed recently. Some of you may have noticed, though most of you are probably too busy with your own lives to notice much of mine! Nevertheless, I find this to be substantial enough of a moment that it’s worth pointing out. I started this journal long before I ever started this unique life planner, yet despite even that did not get done on time. I did not have the right publisher for the job during prelaunch in December and because of that fell flat on my backside with launch. Which was absolutely for the best. Thankfully I had no sales, so that meant zero returns!
Because the publisher I was established with at the time I had one option for us, and albeit beautiful, refined, full of extras, it was PRICEY. The planner would have made me maybe a dollar or two per publication, maybe with marketing even less, but that was besides the point. There was no real discount point for you. There was no way to make it affordable for everyone, reasonable for everyone.
It came to the point I had to ask myself if it was worth it at all if I couldn’t help more people.
The answer took a little over a month to get through, to set up, and to get ready. The answer turned out, at least for the time being, to be Amazon Hardback Publishing. While there’s no tabs, no folders, no stickers, this is 399 high quality matte pages ideal for any pen, with very little if any bleed through, bound between a butter soft matte finish hardback cover. I first ordered a few of my blank page and wide lined journals to determine the real life effect of the journals with my art according to the size and the quality. See the journals here https://jacquelynn-faye.com/painted-faye-lined-journals/
Please note that this article is affiliated, but do know that I have been a loyal and loving fan of this company for more than a year before affiliation. I only back what I believe in. I believe in Dose.
Something I have experienced living with throughout my life is ADD, but also ADHD. I joke it’s a Gemini thing, but I am willing to bet more people live with this than are even aware. ADD stands out separately as a slowness. It can develop as severe brain fog, difficulty finding words, and things like that. My neurodivergence causes some mild stuttering, and sometimes I resemble Beans from Ringo. I just seem to go somewhere else, and it can be rather abrupt.
Now the irony is, these are also symptoms of many other claircognizant practitioners experience.
ADHD presents in many ways, and it can also be quite empowering when you’re at optimal health. I believe these divergent issues aren’t all problematic. What if we only believed them problematic simply because it doesn’t conform to what others expectations are? I believe, at least when we are at our healthiest, we can utilize many divergent labels more like superpowers than hindrances.
Clearly, this large array of symptomatic experiences are best controlled with proper diet and nutrition. I learned this at a young age when I was put on an elimination diet instead of Ritalin. Thanks, mom. <3
Within a couple of weeks time, I went from Cs and Ds to mostly As and a few Bs. It was an intense difference. So yes, proper diet is critical, but as I age and take on a whole lot more than second grade, I have come to a point where I perform best when I support myself with supplements.
Today I’m here to tell you that my absolute favorite advantage over my ADHD & ADD and other neurodivergence I discovered over a year ago. A unique drink, Everyday Dose. Dose has supported me through a lot of hard times, and has even helped me power through some intense moments of anxiety and depression.
No one can tell you better what they do than Jack himself. I encourage you to review their quality page, ingredients, and story too. Read it all, you’ll feel as confident as I was when I first discovered Dose. I have loved being a customer for the past year so much that I found their FB group, and joined in on the support and encouragement (begging) for an affiliate program to better support them as they support others in their healing journeys. Having recommended Dose to every client and my friends and family, it’s only natural for me to jump on board the Dose express.
Does this mean Dose works for everyone?? Sadly no, that’s just a fact of every product and program in the world. That doesn’t mean you can’t try Dose in confidence as they have a 60 day guarantee and from all I have seen Jack always follows through with excellent customer care. Not only that, but because I have been so supportive of Jack he has been gracious enough to gift everyone who signs up THROUGH THIS LINK AND ALL LINKS ON THIS PAGE will get 15% off!
Dose has a few different blends, including a matcha blend now! As I know this company continues to blossom and grow, I am sure that even more is in their future and so in my cup.
How does our health depend on the antibodies and their war against free radicals?
Free radicals are simplified as a defective cell. Let’s say they are missing an arm and become violent and angry and reproduce equally damaged clones as they get more angry. These guys are found in excess and plethora in all unhealthy people, diseases, illnesses, cancers, auto immune, unhealthy seniors, etc. They create major inflammation and are found in all inflamed people. There are over 260 diseases caused by free radicals that we know of.
Normal cellular function and external stressors, like UV rays, cigarette smoke and environmental pollution, trigger the over development of free radicals. Free radicals are unstable molecules that wreak havoc with your body, destroying antibodies, damaging membrane, eating at your enzymes and DNA– or, as it’s more scientifically termed, causing ‘oxidative stress’. All areas of the body are vulnerable to free radical damage, causing inflammation and inevitably autoimmune disorders.
Antioxidants support the development and repair of your antibodies. Antibodies are the good guys that are supposed to fight these free radicals. Unless they become outnumbered and then free rads degrade your antibodies. This is the turning point that we become sick with label X.
Do you know how an antibody eliminates a free radical?
It heals it. It gives it an arm, so to speak, making it whole and turning off the anger and bad reactions.
Very FEW doctors acknowledge this because 1, they need their patients to remain patients. 2, they don’t know how to increase antibodies because not all antioxidants have what it takes to actually repair and create antibodies.
That brings us to the green giant of healing, Chlorophyll!
Chlorophyll is the only proven and known source that creates a notable count of antibodies in the body.
Other than being healthy, doctors have had no idea how to maintain antibodies but chlorophyll literally grows them.
Thus chlorophyll is the most important and healing fluid on the planet. It will eliminate by healing free radicals, and that is just one aspect and benefit of chlorophyll.
Chlorophyll has the power to oxygenate the body, purify the blood, and help support your mineral and nutrition content in the body. When you are looking for empowered healing the answer is always chlorophyll.
What does it mean to be spiritual? What is spirituality? Is it a passing fad, or is it something more? Where does spirituality end and spiritual-trend begin?
These are just some of the questions I think we have all pondered on, especially at the beginning of our path. Before we get too far though, I want to do something for you before I get lost and caught up in prose.
If you at any point in time, determine this is not who you are, I give you ABSOLUTE PERMISSION without needing to justify yourself to anyone, to go in another direction. To try many directions. I give you permission to not adhere to any rules of religion, spirituality as you discover it, or even your own internal programming. You have permission and the power to change your mind, whenever you want to, about the things important to you and pretty much everything. So please, never let yourself be trapped by expectations or rules that you have been told to adhere to but go against your soul. It’s absolutely okay to not be a very spiritual person. To not be at all. To be true atheist, to be agnostic, to be anything that you want to be.
It’s not easy to be authentic. Before we can be truly authentic, we often have to try other people’s proverbial shoes on to see what feels good, what feels right. It’s normal for our essence, personality, and conscious beliefs to be made up of bits and pieces of all things and people and ideas that sparked something inside of you of importance.
So, now that we can relax a little more about what this will require of you, let’s get started. I want to talk about the many variances of spirituality in society as we see and know it today; from toxic spirituality, to trendy spirituality, and all the variations in between and beyond. I write this to help you establish your own perspective by helping reflect many others.
I want to start with the ugliest part of spirituality: toxic spirituality. We tend to think of this coming from mainly cults, but that’s neither true of all cults nor true of where we see toxic spirituality most these days. As most of us are absorbed with some form of social media in some aspect or another, it seems these days the majority of toxic spirituality is housed there. Of course, these are just the new main platforms of a very old problem. There has been no religion safe from false idols and toxic spiritualists.
While I won’t give energy to the most infamous people known for this, I do want to talk about what it looks like. It is most often very much fear based. You see a great deal of this in mainstream religions as well as the more agnostic views that are prevailing today. A lot of the message they deliver is rooted from fear. If you don’t do this, you won’t ascend. If you don’t bend the knee, you won’t make it past the gates. To the point many religions even go so far as to say you never deserved to be born at all. It is a propaganda built on a foundation designed to propel you into self loathing; you’re not worthy, you’re a sinner, not good enough, repent repent repent!
But why? Why is your self loathing important to the toxic spiritualist? I believe if we simplify that, they feel if they are the ones casting the stones then at least they won’t be hit by the stones. It’s not very realistic when I could catch the stone they’ve tossed or pick it up even after being pelted with it, but that seems to be the core logic anyway.
I believe there are many core human programs that we are all born with and automatically trust fall into that are actually quite disabling. One is our self worth. Because this is so prevalent it’s a great and obvious weakness for spiritual predators to use against you. It puts them in control, it weakens you, it aids their ultimate agenda whatever that may be.
Sometimes the toxic spiritualist is an individual of no actual importance at all. These are often social media gurus, or perhaps just a spiritual superialist, a word I just made up but is absolutely fitting and I think you’ll know just who I mean. I bet there are a few people who even pop to mind. The ones who look the part, talk the part, but are really just self inflated jack@$$es who care about no one else but themselves. It doesn’t take too long for them to show their true colors, yet to my amazement this rarely loses them any merit in the social media empires.
This is really leading into the spiritual trend setters. Because let’s be honest, spirituality has been a fashion statement for centuries now, in one form or another. Today they are seen with various amounts of trendy vibing tattoos, expensive eco-savvy cool clothes, and lots of accessories from tarot cards to a thousand and one crystal bead bracelets, and let’s not forget the braids and dreadlocks.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this aesthetic! Let’s be clear. It is cliché because we really do love it! And ya know, that’s okay! Wear your elephant pants and tie dye, my friends! Maybe this is just surface level spiritualism, maybe it’s just a pleasurable joyful aesthetic. If you love these clothes, this look, those dreads, honey, wear it with PRIDE. And if you want to wear jeans and a hoodie the next day with your hair in a messy bun, that’s okay, too.
There is so so so much hate that gets tossed around at aesthetic spiritualism. Sure, some lovely lady told you about minimalism and it sounds trendy. Maybe your parents are straight laced af and a part of you loves the dresses your mom made you wear, or maybe you hated it. Maybe you love all fashion. Maybe, just maybe, the only time fashion ever matters is when it is impacting how you feel and want to feel. When I want to feel like a badass developer, I wear my sleek boots, best jeans, button up, and suede jacket. When I want to be a high priestess, I wear my gold stars and black dresses. When I want to be a woo woo peace loving hippie, I wear my hippie dresses. When I want to paint, I wear whatever the hell I am wearing and ruin it in spite of myself.
What I am getting at is, the spiritual aesthetic, maybe whoever is embracing this is only embracing it at a surface level, but that’s okay, and also none of your freaking business. Who cares where they are at on their spiritual journey, or what their clothes mean to them or how they make them feel. It’s just not your problem. Your problem is how your clothes make you feel. Want to wear your wedding dress to remember how special that day felt? Girl, go get it on!
The hate around spiritual aesthetics isn’t actually about materialism, it’s not about a false identity. It seems though that it is always holding the bar too high for anyone else to reach. Saying that whatever their reasoning just isn’t good enough, like it were anyone’s business in the first place.
So you aesthetic spiritualists, you gothic goddesses, wear it proud. Feel good in your own skin and your own clothes, with or without makeup. Rules are for control freaks. Real spirituality is more about breaking free of the chains of society and our own misguided programming than it is any deity here or there.
A lot of the anger that comes from those judging the spiritually aesthetic is an internal rage, misplaced and improperly sorted and leaking out at those that shine a spotlight on our own internal wounds. Sometimes this comes from a place of lack, feeling like they could never afford those clothes, or feeling like no one would respect them in those clothes. This is often our own programming, feeling envy over someone seemingly more empowered than you are.
So what is the purpose of all those crystals, the palo santo and sage? Do they do anything? Many will argue the physical properties of every gemstone, holding its own unique vibration and thus calling in its own special brand of power. Perhaps there is a deeper truth to that, but if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? One could also say it is the act of acknowledgment of that item’s power that empowers the user with the aligned benefits. Perhaps it’s more complicated than either, and is in fact both and even much more than that. The question remains; does the crystal itself help you immensely enough to promote a notable and direct change? Usually, no.
The Shadow Self
Without going deeper into what we most often call the ‘shadow self’ it’s unlikely a crystal is going to fix the discontent in your life. A beautiful bracelet might in fact help us feel good, but it won’t resolve the issues and lessons life has in store for us. It won’t spare you the pain of loss or trauma.
Does this mean the crystals don’t work, or that we need more to make a more notable impact? They do work, but it is a spiritual bandaid, which can even turn into spiritual bypassing. Raising your vibration is important for healing, important for your energy and wellbeing, but it does not bypass the grueling task of healing deeply embedded emotional and ancestral wounds.
One could say, the deepest spirituality we can really hope to obtain is a deeper relationship with ourselves. To be comfortable alone with ourselves, to feel whole and joyful despite the perceived harshness of the Universe’s life lessons. Perhaps the real goal of spirituality is to know thyself, rather than to perceive what we know about what is outside of us.
So if you have dove into this seemingly peaceful Peace Love and Joy spirituality for the sake of feeling better about life, you may very well be taking a step in the right direction. If you’re expecting some infrequent meditation with your favorite incense to heal your inner child and extinguish your misery, you might be sorely disappointed.
Much of what we conceive as spirituality today is much about defining what is beyond us, while we struggle and fight against what is meant for just us. Perception is the only differentiator between feeling tormented by life and feeling like everything is set against you versus seeing everything as an opportunity to grow and become a better, kinder, more patient version of our ideal self.
The holidays can be the most wonderful time of year for so many! While for others it is full of pain, emptiness, loss, trauma, and depression.
Your wounds are loudest during this time because they are asking to be healed with every trigger and moment of overwhelm.
In honor of what’s been a tough year of lessons and growth for so many of us, all sessions will be donation based through the end of the year.
Please reach out to schedule your support today.
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This is for you if you are ADD, ADHD, BPD, Neurodivergent in any way, suffer with any type of ANXIETY or DEPRESSION. This is for you if you suffer from insomnia, nightmares & night terrors, or any cognitive sleep issue.
Cognitive health is so complex, and rightly so because the brain is literally the most complex part of our own universe. We understand space better than we understand our brains.
(legalities) I can’t claim to be an expert on the brain. I am not a doctor. I have no formal education on the brain. These are my opinions and beliefs based on my own compilation of research and study over many many years. If you wish to try any practices or nutrients I recommend, you may consult your doctor, and do all the research that you feel called, and I encourage, you to do.
Personally, for myself, I am against all prescription medication for the above disorders. I have been prescribed them, and even given antidepressants in place of medical treatment for real and agonizing issues because the doctor didn’t know how to deal with me. You have to make your OWN choices. You have to do what is right for YOU. I am not telling you to quit anything! I am not you, but I do know a good deal about health practices that definitely apply to everyone. While I am at it, let me simply state I do not believe anyone can EAT their full nutrition unless they are already completely healthy and have been actively eating their nutrition with no dire illness to intervene their entire lives. This is not the majority of our population!
To simplify, I will refer to cognitive health in addressing all above listed mental concerns.
We have to think about our cognitive health as a big puzzle. There are many pieces and aspects of the brain and so there are many pieces and aspects of maintaining and restoring cognitive health.
I hope to cover many, but do know now that the stars of this show are *TRYPTOPHAN* and NOOTROPICS.
While for me, nootropics have been a very supportive tool in my cognitive health, I am not going to focus on this nearly as much as Tryptophan, because I feel this is an extra and not as critical to real mental health as tryptophan is. In saying this, if you cannot do EVERYTHING for your health like all the vitamins you need, then you have to know what is most important to focus on. This is one of the biggest struggles in the nutritional world. There are so many things that support cognitive health, how do you know which even work or are really important? Well, I hope I answer that for you today.
Nootropics are extractions of rare (expensive) mushrooms. These are not psychedelic mushrooms! These are just the extra healthy mushrooms! They are so healthy they qualify as nootropics. There are many variations. My favorite is the Dose coffee drink, but I don’t drink it everyday, so I use pill form nootropics mostly. I do buy most of my supplements on Amazon. There are some very affordable options. The one I buy for my own children (14, 11 now) is only $8 a bottle and these are smaller pills than the others, and have less odor which my kids are super picky about! If you want more detailed information on nootropics or reading material, please reach out.
TRYPTOPHAN! You have probably heard about this, especially at Thanksgiving. Turkey has tryptophan, and some other foods have naturally small amounts, but my all time favorite way to make my own tryptophan I enjoy year round and does not require 4 hours of cooking. I’m talking about Hot Coco! More specifically, hot cow’s milk. When cow milk is heated it activates the tryptophan in the milk. There are many hot milk recipes, such as golden milks, honey milks, and just plain hot milk. And yes, if able and willing, raw cow milk is certainly most ideal but not always practical. (Do note that there are people who are lactose intolerant who have NO NEGATIVE reaction to Raw Milk, but alas, that is not true for everyone with a dairy allergy.)
Why tryptophan and wtf does tryptophan do?
Tryptophan is a core component in our FULL cognitive health. It is cognitive function, it is cognitive control, it is serotonin, dopamine, it balances and regulates our hormones. It turns on our ability to create our OWN melatonin for a healthy, good, and peaceful night of sleep. I also discovered that it turned off the night terrors I had been experiencing for as long as I have been dreaming. It balances out our emotional swings. It helps us ADD/ADHD focus our overwhelm and make sense of multi-tasking. (As I write this, I am also working on the other article on Spirituality basically simultaneously.)
This helps with anxiety attacks, recovery period of anxiety attacks, and makes our shadow work far more tolerable in my experience.
Cognitive Health is more than nutrition. If it were only nutrition then no one would be impacted by trauma, but that’s just not the case. However, nutritional balance and support definitely eases the severity of our symptoms of cptsd, ptsd, and many other trauma based cognitive issues.
Shadow Work is a key to recovering from trauma and even works for depression that didn’t imprint on you in this lifetime. Shadow work is a kind of self therapy. This is not something you would typically do with the guidance of a therapist, but you may have a guide explain the process and help you start on the journey. Though most shadow work we must truly face alone. This article is not about shadow work so I will wrap this portion up for now, but do know that it is an important aspect of cognitive health.
Can you, should you, take your cognitive health into your own hands?
Well, you have to at some point or anyone you’re working with, such as a therapist, really just becomes a crutch of avoidance; or worse, you are frauding yourself by avoiding the real work for the sake of saying you go to therapy. Is that to say you should go the entire journey alone? It’s definitely ill advised, but there are those of us who aren’t mean to receive outside help. Our journey is to forge the way ahead alone. This was my way, but also why I talk so much about this without charging people. If you have to go it alone, for financial reasons or whatever else, you should still have some people in your corner. So here, I stand in your corner, to be one of those people for you.
You cannot have a healthy mind without a healthy body. If you’re consuming garbage in any capacity then your mind reflects and embodies that garbage. That means negative talk, negative people, negative media, negative distractions. You need to care for your body, because you cannot care for one and not the other. I also take Chlorophyll for full body health and safe purification, which impacts the mind. Healthy blood, healthy brain.
This is the last aspect I will mention today in concerns to full cognitive health. If you don’t ever stretch, exercise, or use your body then it is literally going to melt, along with your brain. Like if you never read a book your grey matter will become sludge, too. If you don’t use your brain and exercise your brain then it can’t be healthy! Do puzzles, build erector sets and lego sets. Read!!!!! Read anything. Read for pleasure, read for advancement. Just read. Even 5 minutes a day is a huge power move for your cognitive health.
I hope this brings someone out there some relief. May you have a blessed and enlightened day.
We have officially partnered to support Everyday Dose and become an affiliate supporter. Because of this you can save 15% on your order by signing up through the links on this page! Thanks for all your support. I hope you enjoy my content and your Dose!
Mama Faye now offers a truly unique solution to wellness and weight loss. Aniyvwiya Lightworker, Mama Faye guides you to embody better health: mind, body, & spirit teaching you to utilize these practices in everyday life.
Over the course of these 9 weeks you will learn about super foods and portions, nutrients and minerals, healthy hydration practices, the value of intentional movement, and the power of intermittent fasting.
Discover everyday usable coding practices.
Learn how to amplify and better understand the power of gratitude.
Be supported through guided meditations, and discover beneficial meditation techniques to enhance your practice.
Embrace sacred spirituality to support and guide you into balance and wellness. Each day you will also be guided to open a sacred space, empower the body with guided breathwork, and through empowerment coding,
Join Mama Faye for 9 Weeks of Empowered Programming for Wellness, and Weight loss
Starting August 22nd – Ending October 24th
Starting August 22nd, you will spend 9 weeks with The Mama Faye in an Empowered Programming workshop for Wellness and Weight loss.
Upon enrolling you will receive your welcome kit with a week by week focus and support guide before the program starts. Each week you will be supported through videos sent to you via email, and live calls hosted by Mama Faye.
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Refer a friend and get a $30 gas card!
To earn this gift, you must email [email protected] your legal name, address, and the name of the paid referral.
Disclaimer: Welcome kits will be delivered via email within 24 hours of program start. No refunds, this is a service with video content. Access to videos and all materials from the 9 weeks will remain available for the life of the company. This service program does not guarantee you will heal any diseases or chronic conditions nor does it guarantee you lose any weight. The success of this program is dependent on the client’s commitment and dedication to each practice, and is ultimately the only one who can determine how far this programming can take them in achieving their wellness and weight loss objectives. Read further here.
Disclaimer: Gas cards can only been exchanged on a basis by basis determination, and only for the equivalent value. To earn the gas card you do not have to be a participant in the program, but you must email [email protected] your legal name, address, and the name of the paid referral’s legal name. Gas cards or equivalents will be mailed the first week of September.
You can endure the most horrible pain in ways no one can comprehend.
You can make hard choices.
You don’t have to be a victim to yourself, life, or anyone else. But if you choose to be a victim, know that you are a victim first of your own self.
Healing is hard. Being a victim is easy.
I’m not formally educated. I’m not a doctor or a psychologist. I have not trained to become a shaman. I am a student of life, educated by pain, trauma, and abuse.
I can’t heal you. You have to heal you. I can’t force you to be ready. I can’t make you want it. I can’t instill in you what I felt when I got soooo sick of my own bullshit. So sick of being sick. So sick of being a victim, of being a martyr, trained to surrender my highest good for nothing of value at all… I can’t empower you that way. You have to reach your own breaking point.
I hope I have shown you that despite any pain you may face that if I can endure, so can you, and if I can heal, so can you. I hope you learn from me that you can do hard things, and endure hard things and that no matter what you’re facing in life that you can do all the hard things. Even create joy, sometimes that’s the hardest thing to do and takes the most courage, but you can sure do it.
Here lately there is a new trending post going around that says “You should heal your traumas before you have children.” They all vary in ways of delivering this message, but the bottom line is your value as a parent is greatly diminished or even that you being their parent in this unhealed state is even detrimental to the child. This is the most toxic statement I have ever read, and I have read many. But it affects everyone, even those without children in so many negative ways. We all had parents, right?
Now in all logic, I know no mother is going to read this and say, “oh wait, I’m damaged and have trauma. Better not hurt the babies anymore!” and just walk out. That doesn’t make the message any less toxic to our self-worth and healing.
So let’s have some real talk about trauma.
Heal You Traumas Before
First of all, I don’t actually know anyone who is completely free of trauma. Everyone I have ever met, if they wanted to admit it or not, had some wound inside of them that shaped their every day. Everyone I know suffers from some symptom of trauma if not several; a sleep condition, anxiety, depression, and of course there are many others. This often results in health conditions over time; memory loss, stomach problems like ulcers or IBS, and even cancer have been rampant in those suffering with self-worth issues as this is the house of our Sacral Chakra, right in our stomach. The Sacral Chakra is where we carry our self-worth.
So let’s talk about trauma and the best time to heal it. Because what happens if you can’t heal the trauma before you have kids? Maybe you weren’t ready or maybe the trauma hadn’t occurred yet. Much of my own trauma was experienced as an adult after I had my children. It’s certainly not their fault, but I can’t forfeit being their mother because I faced struggles. If every mother did that we’d all be orphans.
I can only hope that in my healing my children will see what’s possible. They will see that everyone can break, no one is safe, but that equally everyone can heal. That you can take responsibility for your weaknesses as much as you can your joys, and in doing so there is power and transformation.
This is the message I hope to share.
So when is the right time to heal?
Have you ever experienced a time when you felt crazed by your pain? Angered and tormented, frustrated by yourself, your reaction, your emotions?
Have you heard the phrase, “You always hurt the one you love?” Have you ever yelled at someone you loved? What about physical reactions? Have you ever thrown anything or struck at someone out of anger or frustration?
When these instances happen it is our wounds calling out to us for help. Screaming is more accurate.
These are messages from your subconscious telling you that your wounds are ready to heal and they are so ready that they are going to become more and more aggressive against you until you listen.
The best time to heal is when you’re able to recognize the need to heal. But if we don’t know how then there’s no ability to even if it is the best time. So when do we heal? Whenever we can! However we can! Whatever it takes.
Since childhood, we’re taught to ignore and brush off pain and to keep moving. We’re filled with programming and really have to combat this on a daily basis, some of us from the time of conception. If your mother struggled with her health, physical or mental then you were programmed with these same traits since conception. But no one teaches us how to combat it usually. If we’re blessed, we are born into love though and have a loving supportive family despite its problems despite its challenges, there is love in the home. So yes, of course as mothers we would love to be fully healed before carrying our children so as not to perpetuate this cycle of such negative early on programming. We’re burdened with enough shame and guilt as it is, aren’t we?
I spent most of my children’s lives in a state of guilt and shame for my physical and mental struggles both. In an ideal world, I would love to shield them from this. However, looking around, this is nothing like my ideal world or theirs!
This is actually called shame-shielding. Who labeled it that? I did. Just now.
You’ll see this in parents who don’t want their children to watch any progressive movies or books that express sensitive topics.
Parents around the world are shielding their children from their flaws, painting on fake smiles while they suffer trauma in silence until it eats them from the inside out. Like it did me, it landed me in the hospital for physical symptoms not mental symptoms, for years and 7 surgeries in between literally hundreds of hospital stays. Some parents are shame-shielding their children from violence and other kinds of abuse. Some parents are shame-shielding from their mental wounds and challenges, hiding their depression, not claiming their challenges like being bipolar.
It is these denials that deepen our wounds, cause them to lash out further, and wound our loved ones. It is the repression of our emotions, shoving them into the box and ignoring them away that is the act of saving them for later!
Think of your emotions like leftovers from a not so great Mexican restaurant that you don’t want to throw out because that’s wasteful, but don’t want to eat because it’s gross, so you leave it there to rot. These are your emotions, bad leftovers.
So the ideal time to deal with emotions is right in the moment. Don’t take home the leftovers, don’t store the emotions away in a box for later. Eat your meal, enjoy it, connect, feel, experience, and let it go.
When we find our internal refrigerators full of bad leftovers what do we do? We can let them rot away, and keep stacking new leftovers on top until the fridge stinks so bad we have no choice but to experience either a very unpleasant rotten life day in and out or clean the fridge. Do the healing work whenever you can. However you have to. Schedule it in.
Reach out and talk to me about what healing could look like for you. It’s not the same path for everyone. Not everyone is ready to heal in this lifetime in fact. Some of us are meant to carry this into the next life. Some of us are ready though.
How do you know you’re ready? Healing is scary, it’s hard, there’s a lot of ugly in it, and insecurity at first.
We know it’s worth it though. And we know we’re ready when we’re tired of putting up with the smell of our leftovers.
Journaling with pain is an intimate practice of listening to your wouds.
Healing does not always feel good. I’m not even sure if it feels good 50% of the time
Maybe it only feels good after, or at least on rare bath occasions…. I could really use a bath today. That might happen. (It did not happen)
Sometimes healing is just sitting in your funk and asking where it hurts and digging into the core of the why?
Sometimes it’s patience with things not going according to plan.
Sometimes it’s sitting alone, asking yourself how alone feels, and most importantly facing how it feels with compassion.
These are good moments for exploring through journaling or meditation.
Why does Source gift me with setbacks?
Why does Source want me to face this challenge?
How does Source want me to face this challenge?
What do I need from me right now?
What are my feelings right now?
Do they affect me physically or just emotionally?
Are my emotions affecting others around me?
How would I like my emotions to affect those around me?
What benefit will I be blessed with after I overcome this challenge?
Why am I so blessed with vital learning opportunities?
How do I ideally overcome this challenge?
What would I do differently if I had a do over?
Did I feel any internal alarms sound during this challenge or my reaction to the challenge?
What should I take responsibility for with this setback?
What should I release responsibility over from this challenge?
What action would serve my highest self best when facing this challenge?
Journaling with pain is one of the most healing forms of journaling as it allows your inner wounds to have a true voice and be heard. Acknowledging our wounds and our experiences are important. Asking the right questions to understand the hows and whys of our wounds is healing.
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